Edema sininnikov

Four years ago, I had such a stronga disease like lymphostasis - a disease of the lymphatic system. Without any apparent reason. Quite quickly, the left leg began to swell more and more around until it increased 50% compared to the right percent. Official medicine does not cure it (they said: we can not cure, the only thing is, we'll try not to get worse). However, it becomes worse, the right leg is swelling more and more often. After a full examination, official medicine showed that I am completely healthy, except for lymphostasis. Then I was treated with various non-traditional methods, unfortunately, to no avail. After reading some books (Sinelnikov, Liz Bourbo, Louise Hay), it began to come to the conclusion that the disease comes from myself. But I can not understand the exact reason, because a lot of reasons come out right away in analysis, and what a true reason it is difficult to understand. What thoughts did I have about the reasons.

1. Based on the books of Liz Burbo, I analyzed what this disease gives me and came to some paradoxical conclusion:
I'm afraid of unnecessary attention of men, because from thissome problems - it is necessary to refuse, trying not to offend, not to offend. I have a loved one, I do not need men's attention. My leg is ugly, I can not wear real women's clothes - skirts and studs, men do not pay attention to me because of this, but that's what I need. (in favor of this, says that I used to have quite a few admirers, now I do not have anyone, just my beloved)

2. Based on the book by Louise Hay: edema is a reluctance to let go of something or someone.
Shortly before the onset of the disease was very strongstress, when a loved one has stopped our relationship, quite suddenly for me. I could not accept and understand this, although I let him go, as he wanted. About a year later, we restored our relationship on his initiative, but I was already sick by this time. Now we live together, everything is fine. However, perhaps this is the reluctance to let him go and provoked the disease. And how do I act now? Why let him go if we live together? In favor of this, says that I am jealous of him. I try not to show it, but in the shower I'm very worried.

3. Perhaps something from childhood, since my mother always had a tense relationship. And now is not better. She demands that I obey her, despite my 30 years. Yes, and in my childhood I could make a scandal if I dressed not the blouse she chose.

It turns out that I have so many problems. How to work with all this? And what is the real reason?

Registered on: 1/1/2007
Posts: 462
From: Khimki, Moscow. reg.

Posted: Fri Aug 23, 2010 3:10 pm Post subject:

4. Based on the books of Luula Viilma:
"Lymph symbolizes a man.
When the lymphatic vessel is clogged,the residual substances of the vital activity of the cell can not leave the body outside, but accumulate in the lymphatic canals and lymph nodes, which, by their increase and pain, give the signal that the malice needs to be released. This signal indicates that you can still help.
The lymph purifies.
Blood symbolizes a woman.
Just as lymph is part of the blood,so a man is a part of a woman. The blood is half lymph. Similarly, a woman is half male. Your attitude to the mother and women, as well as to the father and the men, is reflected in the state of your blood and lymph. "

I'm so sick, at least someone will be with me, I need help and pity.

About pity, I have long thought. This is the easiest, but here such an explanation does not work. Not the disease with which they regret and help. Who will feel sorry for a girl with a swollen leg? Well, yes, I can not wear skirts, but I'm the only one who suffers. My relatives and loved ones do not consider this a problem. The doctor said so: "So what, now there are much more serious diseases"

I do not need men's attention, then what I have myselffine with all I manage, and this one only man I love is also not needed for me, let him go, I can manage without him, but he is my property, so I must be with me, and I'm very afraid of losing my property

About the property is also unlikely. Yes, I love him, jealous, but I never tried to tie myself to myself. We are not married, although we live together, the relationship lasts for 4 years. During this time, I never thought that I should marry. Likely, if I thought so, at least hinted? And the first time he left (I wrote about this), I did not attempt to return it. He is an adult strong man, if he made a decision, then it is true for him.

I'm doing dancing to prove that I'm still a woman, not a man.

No, I've been dancing for a long time (6 years) and so Iit is like that I definitely do not want to prove anything. It is unlikely that only for the proof can be engaged for so long, and even with enthusiasm. Tired of a long time ago. I just assumed that dancing should help to become aware of yourself as a woman (well, plus it's read this in the books about Eastern dances), although this process is weak, because "I like - I dance, but what does it give - I do not know ".

Then I got such a thought, but maybe I'm not perceiving everything right, so I do not translate that much?
If you remember the year when I got sick, it's likeonce was the peak of my femininity, if I may say so. The figure is ideal (dancing + sport + diet), dresses, skirts, hairpins, colleagues - 20 men, bathe in their attention.
True, the problems in his personal life also reached their peak: the departure of the beloved, again restore communication, serious courting of the boss, my refusal to him, refusal to another fan.
And after all this - a disease. Where is the logic, where is the meaning? Just the peak of femininity, I'm all blossom and smell, feeling myself an ideal. Flowers, fans, beautiful courtship.
Maybe my subconscious mind is trying to show thatfemininity does not depend on clothes, shoes and figures? The way that took all this from me? Now I'm saying that I'm like a man, because I only go in trousers, etc. But in fact, everything is not so. It's just that I was convinced in my childhood that a woman should have an ideal figure, beautiful hair (aaa, my hair started to deteriorate, maybe from the same area ?!), wear hairpins and skirts. And if not, then it's already half-woman. It is necessary to look at yourself and accept yourself and this image? Type "femininity in trousers"?
Something the more I think, the more vylazet possible causes. And how to deal with this huge heap of problems.

In favor of this, says that I am jealous of him. I try not to show it, but in the shower I'm very worried.

About the property is also unlikely. Yes, I love him, jealous, but I never tried to tie myself to myself.

Do not lie to yourself. Jealousy has never strengthened love, but only destroyed. Jealousy this is nothing more than a sense of ownership and marriage is not to do with it, that is, formalizing the relationship. If she gnaws you from the inside, you're worried, then there's no place for love. There is only insecurity, distrust of a partner, fear of losing him. Love does not know these feelings. Love does not have any conditions whatsoever. This I love, but I do not need others, I do not like them. If Love lives in your heart and comes from the depths of your soul, then all the people that surround you
are in the flow of this light. And to become a source, you just have to love yourself and love in yourself a woman.

If you remember the year when I got sick, it's likeonce was the peak of my femininity, if I may say so. The figure is ideal (dancing + sport + diet), dresses, skirts, hairpins, colleagues - 20 men, bathe in their attention.

Do you really consider all this externalentourage femininity? That is, when you were just born in this World, you were not yet feminine, because you were a child and you did not have these hairpins, figures, and even more so fans? Nature has given your Soul a woman's body and this alone is the cause of femininity, and not what you think about ideals and about what a woman should dress. There are no ideals at all, they are created by people in their imagination, they tend to them. This desire is important, and not the realization that you have finally become an ideal. To recognize this means to stop on the path of our development, improvement, and as soon as such stagnation occurs, then there are different diseases that signal to us: hey, think already about yourself and your body, and not about what surrounds you and what you are wearing .

Do not lie to yourself. Jealousy has never strengthened love, but only destroyed.

My boyfriend, whom I met at the institute,on the contrary, he believed that the girl should be jealous and he was very offended, that I was not jealous of him at all. I even tried to call her and arranged a stage when I was not indignant that he was seeing off another girl in the evening. So it can be said that my non-jealousy was one of the reasons that we broke up
Then we need to decide what I mean by jealousy. We take a few cases when I think that I'm jealous or not and we'll see.
1. He does not answer my calls when I really need him. In other cases, when needed, the phone is turned off, although I know that it is in the access zone. I am very worried (I do not represent him with other women, etc. but I worry that he neglects me, did not help that I'm in his way). I consider this my jealousy
2. He goes to rest without me, with friends and their wives. I'm not jealous. These are his friends. I calmly wait for him.
3. A party, he without me or dancing with other women - not jealous, do not even worry
4. Returns late - not jealous
5. Admire a beauty - I'm happy to discuss her virtues or her clothes (I love beautiful women myself)

In short, I realized that my jealousy is mostlyis associated with the moment when a loved one is very needed, but he is not or he does not react to my catastrophe, and I feel unnecessary, I need support. That is, as such scenes with women, etc. jealousy does not cause, that is, the very fact of communication with women, even in my brain, is not drawn. Only the fact of ignoring me.
Only I did not understand how this is connected with mydisease? I have no problems with my beloved, our relations suit me. What I described was so rare that it makes no sense to describe it. I mentioned the zeal to make it clear that I really need it and it's expensive, maybe I'm thinking too much about it, and you just made the opposite conclusion. The word "jealousy" is just a red rag for a bull and an occasion for immediate condemnation? Still, people put differently in ordinary words, we must take this into account. If, as you write, she destroyed love, we would not have lived together. And I would have long ago sounded the alarm - what to do with it.

Do you really consider all this external surroundings feminine?

Nope, in fact, I do not think so. We are talking about the subconscious, about those programs that are laid by someone or purchased by me personally. So I'm trying to imagine my actions, thoughts, desires to imagine what the subconscious mind is thinking.
Oh, and as a child I was absolutely not feminine, a little puppy